What not to do if you get divorced? Avoiding Divorce Pitfalls: A South African Guide to Common Mistakes During the Process and How to Steer Clear of Them for a Smoother Transition
WHAT NOT TO DO, WHEN GETTING DIVORCED!
Getting a divorce can be one of the most emotionally and financially challenging events that a person can go through. For women with children in South Africa, this process can be even more difficult due to the added responsibility of caring for their children. However, there are some things that women can do to make the process easier for themselves and their children. On the other hand, there are also some things that women should avoid doing during the divorce process in South Africa. Here are some of the things not to do when getting divorced in South Africa for women with kids.

Here are some of the things not to do when getting divorced in South Africa for women with kids.
Do Not Use Your Children as Pawns
One of the most important things to remember during a divorce is to not use your children as pawns. Your children are not tools to be used in negotiations or leverage in court. They are human beings who are going through their own emotional turmoil as a result of the divorce. Using them as a way to hurt your ex-spouse or gain an advantage in court will only cause more harm to your children.
Do Not Disparage Your Ex-Spouse in Front of Your Children
It can be tempting to vent your frustrations about your ex-spouse in front of your children, but this is not a good idea. Your children still love and care about both of their parents, and hearing negative things about one of their parents can be confusing and emotionally damaging. Even if you are angry or upset with your ex-spouse, it is important to keep those feelings to yourself and not involve your children.
Do Not Assume That Your Children Will Automatically Side with You
Divorce can be a confusing and emotional time for children, and they may feel torn between their parents. It is important to remember that just because you are their mother, it does not mean that they will automatically side with you. In fact, trying to force your children to take sides can be detrimental to their emotional well-being. Instead, focus on providing them with love and support, and allow them to form their own opinions.
Do Not Withhold Visitation from Your Ex-Spouse
If your ex-spouse has been granted visitation rights, it is important to stick to the schedule that has been agreed upon. Withholding visitation can be seen as a violation of the court order and can have serious consequences. Additionally, it can be emotionally damaging to your children to not have access to their other parent.
Do Not Make Rash Decisions
Divorce can be an emotionally charged time, and it can be tempting to make rash decisions in the heat of the moment. However, it is important to take the time to think through your decisions and consider the long-term consequences. Making impulsive decisions can have serious financial and legal ramifications that can affect you and your children for years to come.
Do Not Forget to Take Care of Yourself
As a mother going through a divorce, it is easy to focus all of your attention on your children and forget to take care of yourself. However, it is important to remember that you also need to take care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Make time for self-care activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.
Do Not Neglect Your Finances
Divorce can be a financially draining process, and it is important to take steps to protect your financial future. This includes gathering all of your financial documents, opening a separate bank account, and creating a budget. It is also important to consider the long-term financial impact of any decisions made during the divorce process, such as the division of assets and the payment of spousal and child support.
Do Not Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Going through a divorce can be overwhelming, and it is important to remember that you do



